good advice. but, i am not involve with anyone whose been in that situation.
besides knowing my former co-worker/friend. it would be nice to know more
on this.

but, what i really want to know is this. does this type of behavior leads to
a life of prostitution, escorting, & porn industry ?.

i have read how, alot of porn stars came from abusive families both
physical & sexual. also, having a string of boyfriends who were abusive, mom had a string of boyfriends/step-fathers who were abusive as well.

i guess you can say the same for other " male " family members.

i.e. : brother(s), step-brothers(s), uncles, ( not so sure on ) cousins.

perhaps you can shed light on that.

 

I have no problem giving my input on this, in a way, it's therapeutic for me. Just note, I am just one person and these are just my own opinions and observations.

Young women (and men) who are victims of rape or molestation do seem to follow a set string of behaviors. Not all follow it. I know that one of my first steps in trying to 'reclaim' my loss of power was to jump from relationship to relationship... and yes, some were abusive. The males in my family do seem to have an "abusive" streak which the old adage, "Women go for men like their father" gets it's basis. They are what I knew so it's what I went after. While I didn't become sexual again until I was 22, I would show off on camera and do pornographic photos because I felt I had no self worth.

I feel victims do tend to drift towards porn, prostitution, and other behaviors as a way to try and take control of themselves again. It's like telling a kid when they fall off the bike to get back on and to conquer their fear. Sex is our bicycle, either we get back on and maybe start an unhealthy relationship with it.... or we shun it and never learn to enjoy it. Neither way is all that healthy, I shunned sex and contact for years though I craved it. Now I am a sex addict but still I am very careful about who I am with because of me needing trust.

 

i agree with what your saying.

women tend to lean towards " men " who are abusive just like dad if he
was abusive to them, their mother, & siblings too.

plus, as i have said like yourself, tend to go from one abusive man to another abusive man. this why i get fustrated with women, and to lash
out " indirectly " at them too.

you ( in general ) / they complain about not being any decent men out here. but, when we offer ourselves, they don't want us. they tend to follow a set pattern as we discuss beforehand.

i also know a " needy " woman personally. even though, she has not been abuse, she has a tendency to need a man in her life. but, she likes to be very mouthy, have her way all the time, doesn't want to hear what the other has to say either.

all awhile, she complains in not having a man in her life. i have as well as
other men we know through the workplace, have warned her many times about her mouthiness. we also told her, the reasons why she is lonely too.

HER MOUTH !!.

but, she still insists it's everyone else around her, and everybody is picking on her, and other women are jealous of her due to looks.

YEAH RIGHT ( LOL ).

just about everyone knows it's her and her mouth, along with being " insecure " when there is another woman around & they ( MIGHT ) look better than her.

she has to have a CONSTANT need for ATTENTION from a man/men when ever she is lonely or board. she likes to be ENTERTAIN on another persons
WATCH & DOLLAR.

she is very secretive mostly. she won't reveal herself or pass unless she
wants to. but, she wants to know all about you & your business.
she also use to men in catering to her as well.

( sorry to get off the original subject here )

anyway, does this count as a woman being needy, as part of her/them being rape /. or, does this follow in a whole other category ?.

 

You have hit it on the head, there are a number of women in this category who do this. They are mouthy and have attitudes that stink to high hell. A bad attitude is the biggest deterrent to attraction, I should know because I am working on mine. I am not mouthy, I am the 'needy, insecure, and meek' type instead of the 'attention seeking, mouthy, and demanding' type.

This lady is like my girlfriend (possible ex-girlfriend... not sure yet), she wants all attention from any guy around and if there is another female around... even if they are not attractive in the least... they go into a fit. This pushes the males towards the lesser physically attractive girl if she has a better personality. I have witnessed this because I will be spending time with her, a guy comes in and soon she is whining and demanding of attention and if he so much as smiles my direction, she is making threats to control everyone around her. People sometimes will go out of their way to appease her but it causes a lot of resentment.

The being secretive but prying into others business is also a problem. They think by doing this, they are protecting themselves but do not understand why it would be a problem. They hide things but demand others be transparent in their actions and thoughts. That's not how things work. If one is being secretive, then they can not demand open honesty.

Now to address the part about them going after the same kind of bad guys. While a majority do stay in that pattern, I am proud to say... I broke my pattern of it. I have two loving and good men. I have sought out "decent" men... many times, I have failed because until I date them, I can't tell what kind of person they are but I have found two amazing ones who love me and take care of me.

Yes... they share me knowingly, no jealousy. My husband told the other one that he needs the help in taking care of me so the boyfriend agreed to stay at our side always... and that if something happens to my husband, he will step up and marry me himself. Well, enough of me being off topic and rambling, sorry.

 

help or understanding

so from what ive read youre interested in trying to understand why she acts they way she does and NOT interested in helping her.

oh and here is another reason for therapy. My ex girlfriend was raped and previously molested as a child by teachers and other kids (class mated). she lost her appetite for sex but that didnt matter. i jsut wanted to help her. I wanted to help her so much that after she refused to see a therapist i took that place. i spoke to her and listened to her. she told me how she felt and everything, then a while later i was talking to a friend and he told me this 'If you try and help her instead of persuading her to see a therapist you will always remind her of her rape and she'd hate me. with a therapist she could hate that person and never she them again'. since i couldnt get to to get help i kept listening and what this friend said happened. she told me that she loved me but now every time looked at me i reminded her of the rape.

so her, let her take shit out on the therapist who is paid to listen and come home feeling better to be with you.

on an unrelated note isnt the word 'therapist' ironic in this context?

 

also now youre jsut an asshole and she definitely deserves better. because once the cream is off the cake it comes down to what you think of her. 'a horny little rape victim'

 

I always thought so too.

 

EXACTLY

i don't understand why some women, NEED to show off & COMPETE for
a man/men ATTENTION. i mean, whether your interested in that man or,
he is just a friend, you/they need to compete for his/their attention.

it's like, you have to stand out above the rest of the girls in the pack.
another thing that kills me is, if the guy is just a PLATONIC FRIEND,
you/they have to have him/them all to yourselves ( for reasons unknown )

again, this is where the jealousy thing plays itself. women don't like for
their platonic friends, to get too close to other women for
( unknown reasons again )

add to that, you/they want to know what he/she/they, were talking
about and have to have details too. but, if the roles were reverse they
would consider you/he/she/they in being NOSY.

it's DOUBLE STANDARD

my platonic friend is like this. she likes ( loves is a more suitable word )
for her. she has to pick your brain for info ( NOSY AS HELL ) just about
anything.

i.e. : who you talking to ?.

where you meet them ?.

how long you been talking to them ?.

how come you never mention them to them ?.

and the list goes on and on.

AGAIN, reverse the roles, and your being too involve in their
personal life.

i try my best to stay away from her. i'm starting to see things, that were
not there before. i CLOSELY examine our conversations more carefully.
i study how the conversation flows and what is being said.

i step back and re-examine what was said, how it was said, and what is the interpretation of what was said too.